The Key to Stress-free Parenthood for Busy Couples

Most couples choose to start their journey in growing their family immediately after getting married. But when Jules and I tied the knot four years ago back in 2015, we decided not to have a baby first so we could focus on building our careers.

Jules is a Biology teacher in one of the middle-high schools here in Fort Worth, Texas while I work as an event coordinator. I was 23 years old during that time. He was 28. We were both at the peak of our careers, but our decision to wait a little bit before getting pregnant was not driven by selfish reasons. We simply have both decided that we need the time and the preparation to plan and save for our future family.

Preparing for family life

Since we were focused to give the best for our future kids, all of our decisions rotated around making sure that we build the best life we could provide them. We lived in a small apartment unit during the first few years of our married life while we were saving for our dream home. We grew our funds. Three years down the line, we were finally able to move into a three-bedroom house with a lawn where our little ones can run around.

With our first step towards our dream finally fulfilled, we decided that it was finally time to have a baby.

The hurdles of TTC

We’re going to be honest⁠—we were blindsided when it finally came for us to conceive. We have been so focused in building the dream life we want to offer our children that we’ve failed to consider the challenges of getting pregnant itself.

We had a hard time juggling our careers while trying to have a baby. There are times when both of us would feel so tired coming home from work that we’d end up missing our golden windows to conceive. It didn’t help that we also felt the pressure from our family and friends. They were all genuinely excited for us, but their expectations sometimes weighed us down. We had to face a barrage of questions like, “When are you going to have a baby?” or “So Lindy, are you pregnant now?”

It made all those days seeing one line in my pregnancy test even more painful for us as a couple.

One night, as Jules and I were lying on our bed, he quietly shared with me all the worries and frustrations that he has bottled up since we started our journey. He felt bad for stalling this stage in our lives, even though both of us know that we did it with our best interest for our future family in mind.

His fears were understandable, too. He is already over 30 at this point, and I will be hitting the same age in just a few more years. That night, as we opened up to each other about our fears for the future, we decided that it’s time to seek for professional help..

Getting the help we need

That week, we secured an appointment with a fertility doctor. During our consultation, we were asked about our sexual habits and our daily activities; very important factors that could be affecting our journey to getting pregnant.

Blood samples for hormone testing were taken from the both of us. Jules also underwent semen analysis while I was advised to have hysterosalpingography, a test which evaluates and examines possible blockages in the fallopian tube.

The results that came back to us were all positive. Jules’ sperm count is good and he has no problems with his hormones. My uterus and fallopian tubes are also fine. I don’t have a hormonal imbalance and my period is also regular.

Upon the evaluation of our test results, the doctor gave us recommendations to improve our chances of getting pregnant.

What every busy couple trying to conceive must do

There’s no one-size-fits-all way to get pregnant, but we were advised that following these tips can help improve our chances when it comes to conceiving:

• Live healthy. Watching our diets, avoiding alcohol and caffeine, and dropping bad habits like smoking (though none of us smokes) is a must. I was also advised to take prenatal vitamins and to start an exercise routine.
• Manage stress. With our work schedule and lifestyle, stress has become a pretty common companion for us. We were advised to start adopting habits that can manage it, like sleeping early. Lack of sleep, as it turns out, greatly affects fertility.

• Track my fertile days. I was advised to start charting my basal body temperature (BBT). Every morning, I took my temperature, recorded it, and monitored it for changes. A rise on it means that I am ovulating and that it is a good time to try for a baby.

• Be consistent with our sexual activity. Since we really want to have a baby as soon as possible, we were advised to always make the most out of my ovulation peaks. Timing is crucial and we were advised not to miss any moment.

Jules and I religiously followed our doctor’s advice. We did major shifts in our diet and lifestyle and we also consistently tracked my ovulation. The only problem is that we found the act of tracking it to be tedious. We kept to our schedule, but since we are doing it manually, we often found it hard to manage and understand my fertile windows.

The missing formula to our journey

Another three months had passed since our consultation but we still couldn’t find our way out of the tunnel. During this time, I felt Jules slowly lose his drive. I wasn’t any better. The whole process started feeling like a job for the two of us⁠—except this time, we weren’t getting any fulfillment from it. Instead of helping us achieve our goal, the whole process added more to our stress.

Then one day, our silver lining came. I am very close to my sister so she is always the first one I run to whenever I need to vent out about something. As my closest confidante, she also knew everything about my struggles in getting pregnant. I was sharing with her my frustrations during one of her weekend visits when she casually mentioned a story she read that is a bit similar to me and my husband’s journey. It was about a couple who finally succeeded in conceiving using a digital ovulation kit.

I remember looking at her blankly for a bit after she dropped the term.

“A digital ovulation test kit? Haven’t heard of anything like that before.”

She said that she made a quick search about it after reading the story because it might be helpful for me. Digital ovulation kits, she explained, work like traditional ovulation kits, except they are powered by technology. It helps you track your peak periods, but instead of just giving you a vague idea of when your fertile window is, it tells you exactly when you have the most chance to conceive. To top it all off, all your results can be tracked through a nifty app, which takes out the painful process of trying to manually record everything.

That same day, we searched for a pack on Amazon while we’re sitting on our favorite couch. I made the order right then and there.

A stress-free journey to parenthood

The ovulation test kit I bought arrived on May 14, 2019. Both Jules and I were very excited to try it after we’ve made some more research while waiting for it to be shipped. I even remember my husband getting all giddy after knowing that he can get notifications about my “golden windows” through the app. Being the dork that he is, he even gave it his own term: “sexy time notification.”

Our first month of using Eveline was a bliss. The stress of having to manually track everything was lifted off our shoulders because you can see everything using the app. I also love how Eveline tells you straight-forward results so you know when you are at your low, high, or peak fertility. To top it all off, I can manage everything even with just my phone. As someone who is always on her mobile because of work, this extra perk really made things easier for me. I didn’t even have to worry about missing my peak windows because the app gives me timely notifications.

It was the first week of August 2019 when the good news came. I was merely sticking to my schedule of doing a pregnancy test in the morning so I didn’t give it much thought when I grabbed one from my stock on my way to the shower. I remember still being dizzy with sleep as I sat on the toilet that things didn’t register to me quickly when I pulled back the stick to see the results.

Two pink lines.

My eyes widened. All of a sudden, I was awake.

I hurriedly took another PT and tried it. There are still two lines. At this point, it was taking me all I have not to scream for Jules.

I finally did when the third PT registered the same. My husband nearly barrelled through the door of our bath looking scared for his life. Then things also hit him when he saw me teary-eyed, holding the test with the two lines we’ve been wishing to see for months.

I’m four months pregnant now and we couldn’t be happier. Looking back, we know we couldn’t have done it without our own drive to finally move on to this next stage in our life, the support of our family, and of course, Eveline.